I was coaching a leader a few weeks ago. Really sharp guy. Cares deeply about his team. Could tell you exactly what great leadership looks like.
But he wasn't doing it.
And it wasn't because he didn't want to. He wanted to badly. He just couldn't seem to close the gap between what he knew and what he actually did day to day.
I sat there listening and thought, man. I know this feeling. I've been this guy.
Years ago I could have given you the whole speech about what good leadership looked like. I'd read every book. Sat in every training. Had all the answers in my head.
But the second things got stressful? I reverted. Got reactive. Got short with people. Made it about me. All that knowledge was sitting right there in the back of my brain. I just couldn't get to it when it mattered.
I've started calling this the Intention Deficit.
It's not that you don't care. It's not that you don't know. It's that under pressure, there's a gap between knowing and doing. And the more pressure you feel, the wider that gap gets.
Dr. Russell Barkley talks about this. He describes it as a disconnect between the back of the brain where you learn things and the front of the brain where you actually apply them. Stress basically cuts the wire between the two.
That's why you can be calm and strategic on a Tuesday morning but completely reactive by Thursday afternoon. Same person. Same knowledge. Different pressure.
Here's the part that really got me thinking though.
What happens if this goes on for a long time? You start to lose credibility. Not because people question your intentions. They can see you care. But they stop trusting your follow-through. They've heard the right words before. They need to see it show up consistently.
And that's a lonely place to be. Caring deeply but not delivering on what you care about.
Timothy Gallwey has this formula I come back to all the time. Performance equals Potential minus Interference.
The potential is there. That's not your problem. The problem is the interference. The stress. The inner critic. The survival brain taking over when you need your strategic brain the most.
So the work isn't learning more stuff. You already know enough. The work is getting out of your own way.
One thing that's helped me. Before a big moment, I just pause and ask myself one question. Who do I want to be right now?
Not what am I going to say. Not what's my strategy. Who do I want to be?
It's a small thing. It doesn't always work perfectly. But it moves me from reactive to intentional just enough to make a difference.
I think about this a lot for you too. You probably already know what you need to do this week. The knowledge isn't the problem.
So what's getting in the way?
Name it. That's the first step. Because the gap between caring and contributing isn't a character flaw. It's a human thing. And once you see it, you can start to close it.
Talk soon,
Jon
Until next week,
Jon
P.S. If you want a place to actually work on this stuff, the next With Intention Cohort kicks off Thursday, May 21st. A few spots are still open. It's a small group of people committed to closing the gap, doing the real work, and growing alongside others who take this seriously. If that sounds like what you need right now, reply to this email and let's talk.