I turned 50 this week.
My wife and kids spoiled me. I feel great. Definitely don’t feel old. Maybe it’s because I was always the baby in my family. Youngest of three boys. My family used to call me the prince ; ) Yes, I was a bit spoiled and I definitely liked getting my big brothers in trouble. An instigator of sorts.
I got to see both of my brothers last weekend at Gabe’s graduation party. What a day. It’s been raining like crazy in Ohio lately. No joke, it was projected to rain all day. Michelle prayed expectantly all week. And about 30 minutes before the party, the weather shifted. To the right of the freeway it was dark. To the left, sunny. We hosted at our friend’s farm and it turned out to be a glorious day.
Maybe there’s power in the prayer. God is good.
But I’m not writing to you about my birthday. I’m writing because I’ve had a lot of conversations lately with people who are struggling. And I want to give you something that might help.
I got to present to a company last week and talked about a concept I keep coming back to. Blessings and battles.
Here’s the mindset. If you can accept that there will be good and bad every single day, you can get through anything. Not because the hard stuff goes away. Because you stop being surprised by it.
I took two groups through a clarity exercise that I’ve shared with you before. But it bears repeating because it works every time.
Three W’s. Three minutes. That’s all it takes.
Wins. What are you celebrating right now? We need to acknowledge these and get them on paper. If you set a timer and force yourself to write down wins for one minute, any size wins, you’ll be amazed at what comes up. If you’re breathing right now (hint, you are), that’s a win.
Wars. What’s hard right now? We have to acknowledge the hard stuff. If you’re doing anything of substance, you’re dealing with something difficult. That’s not a sign you’re failing. That’s a sign you’re in the arena. You’re made to do hard things.
Weapons. What do you have to fight with? This is the one that changes everything. What if you looked at life like this. Always wins. Always hard stuff. And always weapons to battle through. David beat Goliath with a slingshot. You’ve got more than you think.
I also use two more W’s when I go deeper. Windows, what’s ahead that you’re excited about. And Wonder, what are you grateful for or curious about.
In three minutes you can get some pretty deep clarity doing this. I’ve seen grown men cry doing it. I’ve seen eyes open. It’s simple and it’s effective.
I know because I do it often. And I often find myself battling through and have to remind myself to slow down and get this clarity. I’m shoulder to shoulder with you on this.
So here’s my challenge. Right now. Before you put this down.
Write down one win. One war. And one weapon you have.
That’s it. Three things. See what opens up.
You’ve got this.